These Shining Lives

I always seem to have so many of my little 'writing ideas,' but never seem to actually write them down. So I'm attempting to do better now. I have been meaning to share an experience I had last November, but when I thought about it my thoughts got jumbled. I do that a lot by the way. Anyways...

I got to be in a play called 'These Shining Lives' at the local community college. It wasn't a big production. It was only shared by a few hundred of this town. Of course, for me, that was part of the charm. I love that theatre is for the present moment. It is not a film that you can watch over and over again. It is for this night, and the next....until the run of the show is over and only memories remain. Of course, most plays are video taped. I never liked that. It ruins the theatre experience. Theatre was never meant to be permanent art, like a statue. It is fleeting art. It is over before you realize it. Just like life. (Okay, sorry, got on my soapbox for a moment.)

The play was about a group of women that lived in the 1920s in Ottawa, Illinois. It was a true story. I played Catherine Donohue. They worked at the Radium Dial Company where they painted numbers on watch faces. They used a special radium powder to make the numbers glow. The women started getting sick. They tried going to the company doctor, but he only gave them pain medication and told them to rest. In fact, every doctor in town has the same diagnosis. Finally they found a doctor in Chicago who told them the truth. My character, Catherine, discovered she was going to die. She, and her friends, took the company to court. After years in court, she won...but died 21 days later.

Yes, I know, this sounds completely depressing. That may be one of the reasons why I liked this script. It was very real, gutsy, and poetic. I also got to play a woman who was so much stronger than I am. I know I didn't do her justice. I do not have the experience necessary right now, but I was blessed to get to know her. I remember reading the whole script for the first time. I realized that I would never want to live the life she did. It was simple; work and family. I personally don't want children...she had two. She lived in a small town...I cannot stop myself from dreaming big. But in the end, it doesn't matter. She had life, and then it was taken from her.

Catherine was 35. I'm 28 now. At my age, she was just beginning her fight that she would eventually lose. She was facing death. What if I was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow? How would I handle it? I still feel like I am waiting for life to start. I am still grasping who I am and trying desperately not to go crazy right now. Catherine loved her life exactly where she was. Yes, she broke down. Who wouldn't? But at the same time, I am not half the woman she was at her very weakest. Playing Catherine was difficult. But I loved it.

It reminded me why I love theatre. It brought back my desire to be on stage. Sometimes I feel more alive up there than anywhere else. And no, I am not the best. Not even freakin' close. But considering how short life is, does it really matter? I've realized I have gotten more out of theatre than I could ever give back. I got to meet this wonderful woman who breathed, ate, slept, cried, laughed, loved...I wish I could be more like her.

The play also reminded me that time is against us. We don't have much of it. I feel like I forget that every single day. If I could only remember that. Death is before us. It is inescapable.

Our life is made up of time...and it's just ticking away.